abyssalcalexan

We are made of stars
And luck
And grit
Free and willing
To stake our claim
And shout it to the universe and void
Daring them to make us move
We endure and survive
And it’s not always pretty
But we cut our own path
Forging ahead through darkness
And troubles
Determined to our starcores
To keep moving
Changing
Adaption
Kindling stories and ideas
Existing long past
Around
Our physical mortal shells
When we join the void once more
Sparking lights to follow
For those who look

There once was a child
Curled up tight within themselves
Creating an inner story
An inner lifetime
And many worlds
But staring out the theater
To the outside world
Separated from it by the veil
Of the body containing the mind
The spirit
The essence

Not quite touching
Not quite understanding
Lost without a roadmap
Or a guidebook
Or rules that make sense

Any attempts to read what is given
In the actions and speech of others
Must be translated into something understandable
But to do so requires time
And the ability to understand the starter language
Which does not exist in an entirety

Leaving bits and pieces
And vague phrases that don't quite make sense
To be all that can be used to understand this strange world
Filled with contradictions and mistakes

And an outer mask covered by cracks and missing pieces
Filled in by glue and held together by tape
Applied by well meaning and well taught natives
Who connected with
And befriended
The alien child underneath
Constantly reaching out to the world
That they can never touch
That they feel and sense instead through others
Forever a step behind and diagonal
To these strange native people
Of this strange untouchable world

There once was a child
Who never stopped being an alien
An outsider
Putting on a broken mask
And mimicking their loved ones
In an attempt to fit into their world
A world that was never
And will never be
Their own
But just might become
A home

Member of the a team
the triple a’s
agen aro ace
outside all societal impositions
looking on in confusion
at the insistence
that gender exists
with roles to be filled
that the idea even exists
that you cant have love
without sex or romance
and that not feeling these
is anathema to everything
blocked out of culture
if you cant or dont feel them
then something must be wrong
because to love romantically
and to want to have sex
every moment of the day
is essential to being human
and if you dont
then you arent

feeling the cracks
looking on
talking to others that arent alike
and finding only bare comprehension
and ignorance willing
not quite accepted even in
the accepting group
meeting
over and over
those not willing to accept
answer E:
none of the above

because it doesnt come marked in
on their scantron
fill in the blank form
so it must not exist
even as i stare down
at a single row
of the answers being E
already filled out
perfectly for me

As the white mountain
and dark black sea
fight for dominance
the grey plains hold the balance
spanning the inbetweens
and throughs
and creeps the cracks
straddling the line
keeping the balance
between the separated lovers
the ever fighting
white and black
mountains and seas